Come On! Come On!

Who will win presidential erection, Cheeky Kerry or Shrubby Bush? Cheeky Kerry or Shrubby Bush? Who will it be? Prace Bets Now! Come On! Come On! Betting... I mean voting ends!

Banzai Man Originally uploaded by ihorner.

Jon Stewart On Crossfire - Video Torrent!

For all those who are kicking themselves for missing Jon Stewart's apearance on CNN's Crossfire, here is the transcript. For those of you with a lower attention span, but a good mix of patience and bandwidth, here is a torrent of the file, in WMV, or uncompressed AVI. Watch Jon Stewart tear Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala a new one. (Thanks Nathan)

Debate Drinkin

This is a great idea. Why we aren't doing this on Wednesday along with Presidential Debate Bingo is beyond me!

I thought I would share with you the highly successful (as in we got fuqed up) rules to debate drinkin we played with for last friday's debate.

You must take 1 large drink whenever any of the following are mentioned by either candidate:

“Swift boat”
“Flip-flop”
“God”
“September 11th”
“Terrorists win”
"Outsource"

You must take one large drink whenever a candidate mentions a swing state or a city in a swing state. A swing state shall be defined as:
Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Iowa, Michigan, Wisconsin, Missouri, New Mexico, New Hampshire, Colorado, Minnesota, or Maine.

You must take one large drink when Kerry raises one eyebrow and not the other and gives a cheesy grin.

You must take one large drink when either candidate refers to insurgents in Iraq as “terrorists.”

You must immediately finish your beer when:

Bush makes a major verbal mistake

Bush says “Durn”

Either candidate says “Poland”

There is one cup that rotates. Whenever the word “Iraq” is said the person holding the cup pours approximately 1 shot into the cup and passes to the next person. The person holding the cup must drink what has amassed when “Saddam Hussein” is mentioned.

I recommend the game. It proved to be quite fun... but I have no idea what happened in the last 30 minutes of the debate.

(Via octopus dropkick!.)

This sounds like something I'd do just on a whim. Plus, the apples sound quite delicious...

I Heart Honey Crisp Apples (and really hate ham): "I'm not one to overly-praise produce. I like trying new things, but hey, half the time if I'm trying new fruit its to see what kind of milkshake I can get out of it (hint, mango + rum + ginger..."

(Via DrunkenBlog.)

'Daily Show' Viewers More Politically Astute

This backs up what I've been wondering all along. Ever since I started watching the "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart", I've been wondering, I've noticed that almost everyone that I know and respect watches it just as religiously. This gave me cause to wonder; is the Daily Show just incredibly popular, or is it that people who watch it are more politically astute? Now I know. The Daily Show IS just another cable TV "fake-news" program, its just my friends who are strange...

Interestingly enough, it also proves my theory that The Daily Show is one of the better news programs on television. Not necessarily because it reports quickly, and in depth, but because it is truly fair and balanced. Of 83 political jokes told by Jon Stewart, half were directed at Bush, and half at Kerry. The remainder were of course accidentally made in the direction of Ralph Nader...

Abe Vigoda Status

I'm glad I stumbled upon this site. Finally, I can find out at a moments notice, whether or not Abe Vigoda is alive.

Abe Vigoda Originally uploaded by ihorner.

Everybody Wins!

With the US Presidential elections coming up in November, and poll results looking more and more like a stalemate, I'm going to hedge my bets that we'll see 4 more years of Shrubbery. But don't fret, fans of reason and decent government, I have a plan that can please everyone. Lets face it, with all the damage that Bush has done in the past 4 years, the United States is a lost cause. Here in Canada though, not only are we slightly left of center in terms of government, but our current set of politicians are boring. So here is my solution; All you 'failed' democrats, Al Gore, Howard Dean, even Richard Clark -- you're invited to, come up here to Canada and run for our public offices. Admit it, we could do much worse; some countries already have...

Woeful Inadequacies of the English Language

Why does English have no way of properly writing out the sound make by the forcing of air between two fatty bodies pressed together. We have words like "Phhhhft" or "Brrraaap" or even "Fart". I've even read the use off the word "Poop" as onomatopoeia! However, speak any of these words out; do any of them sound remotely like the real thing? Yes, its ingrained in our cultural minds what sound these refer to, but only through direct condition by speaking of the act that has just taken place. What will happen, thousands of years in the future, when hyper-anthropologists unearth our internet fart-joke archives, only to have the humour pass by them, as they have no idea what they mean...

Why You Should Go To 4-chan /b/

1092292856177 Originally uploaded by ihorner.

Oh Captain, My Captain

You are the captain of the starship Enterprise. Apparently, you are also a very skilled country/western guitar player. Bravo.

Oh Captain, My Captain Originally uploaded by ihorner.

Farfield

Awhile ago, I'd heard about a project online to take random panels from Jim Davis' "Garfield" comic strip, and splice them together into new 3 panel strips that were in many ways, a zen experience of humour. Unfortunately, due to the immense asstacularity of the Universal Features Syndicate, I was unable to view any of them on the original site before it was taken down. However, thanks to some furious Googling, I was able to pull up this. A link to someone who has replaced Garfield in the strips, with a "real" cat, that does not converse in though bubbles or otherwise. Result? Funny!

David Byrneing Man

So here I am down at the Edmonton Folk Festival, making my big entrance into the world of the "Big Fat Road Manager". I was roused at 0800 this morning by Nathan to become an honorary "Nerd on Site" to fix the computer of David Byrne's manager, Todd. Thanks to this, I'm nerding it up in the middle of the festival, enjoying complimentary coffee, brunch, and the after party. More will come, or not, as the day progresses. For now though, courage!

ASAPA Hanko Prototype

A Prototype Hanko Design for the back of Happi Shirts for the Alberta Faction. With a group of 5 people walking into a room, carrying banners, this could look nice and intimidating. Fear the Alberta Faction

ASAPA Hanko Prototype Originally uploaded by ihorner.